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09 October 2005 at 06:34

back to normal

Today the out-laws leave the island for good, and the clean-up job begins. While they were here, my fascist personality didn't respond well to chaos and disorder on my own doorstep. My wise friend hotboy has been encouraging me to relieve my inner conflicts by taking out my murderous urges on him, and that's what friends are for. But from today that has to stop, and I will say some nice things about him.

Many people judge hotboy by his rough exterior, but what few realise is that he loves old ladies, and dotes on my mother. He and she are neighbours. My mother lives in Flatheid Castle (see photo). Hotboy's Scottish residence, when he's not surfing the oceans of southern hemisphere bliss, is about one inch to the left of the main turret. Within spitting distance of my mother.






Trivia - Edinburgh Castle can be seen in the distance, top left. I mean right. And Arthur's Seat, one of the locations in Hotboy's book Alma Mater, is the big lump at top left.

Alma Mater is available as a free download at the excellently-maintained website of John McKenzie's Wonderful Writings.

Photo source: Fettes School Edinburgh

Tune for the day: the mental mush that was on endless repeat-play at the restaurant last night. If I could be bothered maintaining my death list any more, Moby would now be at the top.

Sources acknowledged.

Blogger Lee Ann said...

Rob, that is magnificent! Your mother lives in that castle? Wow! It is bigger than mine! Absolutely beautiful...I want to see in person, I will be right over! ;)  

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Blogger hotboy said...

Adolf! Heil! Your perturbations occasioned by the in-laws are palpable even here! On a Sunday morning. Of course, Edinburgh castle is on the right, not the left. Where will you put it when your mother comes to stay on your part of the island? I'll have to find her and ask her about the toilet training. Then tell her to go and apologise. Hope this helps. Advertising my site definitely does. I'm expecting the police any day now. Hotboy  

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Blogger robmcj said...

LA - did I say she lives in the castle? I meant of course that her apartment is on a block of land sold off to developers by the castle owners. Her yoga class takes place in the castle grounds in the summer. That's how she heard about Hotboy.

HB - right, left, let's not get anal. Who would have known the difference? But I take my hat off to you, living happily so close to my mother. You're a brave man. I had to travel half way round the world to get on better with her. That definitely helps.  

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Blogger Doviko said...

Mr Robmcj,

Cabbage saw the picture on your blog, and would now like to know how big Hotboy's garden is. We did not know that houses are so big in the West.

Your faithfully

Doviko  

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Blogger hotboy said...

Adolf! Zeig! About two fingernails from the white bit of the spire is an almost face on side of a jutty up building. The kid's bedroom is on the right at the top. That's where the wonderful sunsets are viewed from. From the front of the building you can see the castle on the far right.Sorry, left. Sometimes there are fireworks happening. Seen one, seen them all. From the back of the flat, you look onto lower rooftops (Moscow?) and the Grange cricket ground. The sky comes down on nothing but trees. This is heaven on this earth. Only a fool would leave here. No matter what is on the wall. Your mother will miss it, Adolf, but I'll explain that you so loved your in-laws being with you so much that you want her to move there lock, stock and potty, and big stick, and brownshirt. I keep looking for her on the street. Ra goosesteppingss matriacus.Why doesn't she stay in North Berwick like the rest of them? Hope this helps. It'll help her. Hotboy  

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Blogger robmcj said...

Doviko, I think HB's garden is right out of the picture. Some people (not me) say that's where HB is most of the time.

Yes, most women in the West live in castles, e.g. Lee Ann, my mother, the Queen etc. Since Hotboy decimated property values at his place with his scrawlings, the daughter has had to move out in search of a castle of her own.

As the photo shows, castles are surrounded by vegetation, and handsome princes have to chop their way through the dense cabbages (no offence) to rescue the sleeping women. Many princes fail in the attempt, hence the expression "Ah couldnae hack her." Does this help?  

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Blogger Doviko said...

Dear Mr Robmcj,

Thank you Mr Robmcj for your answers. Cabbage is very good at chopping bushes and he is also very good at slashing. It is dry here in Kalimbuka, so there is not much grass for slashing, but when the rains come, God willing, there will be much grass for him to slash. He is also very good at digging but with a hoe. He has not shoes and does not like digging with a spade, but Ihe hopes Mr Hotboy has a good hoe.

Your faithfully

Doviko  

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Blogger robmcj said...

Doviko! Hail! Reading between the lines, I take it we're talking about Cabbage's urinary retention affliction. Hotboy will teach cabbage how to slash, he's the expert on letting all go.  

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