We have remained friends for decades, despite being born on opposite sides of the tracks. I am from the privileged side of town, and I still feel guilty about being sent at age 2 to spend a year away from my family, in post-war Germany, where I had the mind-broadening opportunity to sample reconstruction cuisine. Amazing dishes created from sour milk, soap and seaweed.
On returning to Scotland, everything was handed to me on a plate - the social stigma involved in growing up half-German in post-war Britain, and the luxury of regular character-building beatings by parents, teachers, and school prefects. I was mauled by only the best breeds of upper-class dog.
In the playground I was a popular child, during war games when they needed someone to be ritually machine-gunned and called a "dirty Gerry."
Yes, I had it easy compared with poor Hotboy, who endured a childhood in a large, loving and well-adjusted family. It is to his credit that he doesn't let envy spoil our friendship.
Now we live on different sides of the world, but we still share interests. Like working only minimum hours in a regular job, and devoting the rest of the time to cheap and useful forms of brain damage. Mostly brewing and blissology.
