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15 December 2005 at 03:06

HNT 9 - impotence

Yes, I can't deny it any longer - I'm impotent with women I'm not attracted to. Worse than that - even if I find a woman attractive, my "banana" won't function if I distrust or dislike her as a person. Oh, the shame of it! Please don't tell anyone.

This affliction means that the currently-fashionable hate-bonk is something I'll never experience. A pity-bonk is out of the question too, because of my freakish desire for rapport with a woman. Okay, I did once have sex with a grossly obese plain woman with no personality, but that was for a dare-bonk when I was young and reckless, and my banana disappeared to its full length without actually penetrating, so technically it doesn't count.

Let's do the math to calculate the enormity of my dysfunction. There's just over 3 billion women in the world, half the world population of 6,446,131,400 (source:CIA), and I'm physically attracted to about 10% of them. And if I got to know those 10% I would only like about 10% of them very much as people. That means that there are 3,190,835,000 women with whom I'd have a mushy banana. Oh, the humiliation! If I was a real man I could service any woman on demand, without even thinking about it.



It so happens that my partner is one of the remaining 32 million women in the world that I like and fancy. What luck!

Acknowledgement - Photoshop idea inspired by jaxe

HNT_1

PS - I knew a man once who had 5 willies. His underpants fitted like a glove.

Blogger hotboy said...

Adolf! Zeig! What can I say?
Your red scarf matches your eyes
You close your cover before striking
You gave me the St Louis Blues
Loving you has made me bananas.
Bonzo Dog DoDa Band, I think.
In the face of the worst venereal disease every seen, I hope this helps, but you're past it, I fear! Hotboy p.s
Can you now post as President Banana of the Unheard of Island?  

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Blogger Wenchy said...

LOL I love your pics.  

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Anonymous unshroud said...

Wow, a somewhat disturbing image, I have to say.... lol

I sometimes have these urges for more than one... but I usually picture them as being attached to different guys ;)

Happy HNT!

Annette  

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Blogger Lelly said...

Good Heavens! Can't you get a cream for that??!! (and I'm not talking whipped cream...on second thoughts though...:-)  

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Blogger sasfdasfdljkfksdjkfjsd said...

awesome photo, I have a slightly diff problem , i can perform the service but I just regret it later, you really didn't miss much.  

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Blogger Furzl said...

lmao. Brilliant as always. I will never view fruit the same again thanks to your hnt pics.

Happy HNT  

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Blogger Flygirl said...

Fantastic! You win the prize today!  

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Blogger bricotrout said...

why does the croed look only moderately impressed at best? i should think they would be wide eyed. wait a minute! is this photoshopped??? hmmmm  

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Blogger MomThatsNuts said...

I LOVE IT....
but Im kinda strange like that..,.

Mom  

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Blogger Jaxe said...

HAHAHAH! Bravo man, BRAVO! Great shot Rob! And WTF!? A penis with a conscious? Don't let that secret out or your going to ruin it for all of us, hehe.

Dangit, you stole my Newbomb Turk joke from Hollywood Nights (fits like a glove!)

And I already see, you and I will need to collaborate on a rotten photoshop/hnt idea! *mind starts to churn*

Happy HNT brother! *man hug*  

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Blogger * ! Libraaaa ! * said...

L M A O!!!! help i've fallen and i can't get up. OMG i can't stop laughing! what a great pic HHNT =)  

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Blogger Just Some Gal said...

Like Jaxe said... A penis...with a conscience???

*sigh*

Perhaps there are more Rob's out there. lol

I couldn't stop laughing though...the bananas reminded me of something else....haha

Happy HNT!  

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Blogger Mel said...

That's hilarious! Happy HNT!  

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Blogger Gyrobo said...

This is the kind of thing that makes me wonder if there's hope for humanity's future.

Then I just sit down and watch some more T.V.  

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Blogger lecram sinun said...

ROFLMAO! Thanks a bunch! Cheers and Happy HNT!  

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Blogger bsoholic said...

LOL! Great joke at the end too.

Happy HNT  

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Blogger littlefeet said...

great pic! :)

peace...  

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Blogger Tess said...

Great shot. I like visiting you, Rob.

Happy HNT!  

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Blogger Everything Nice said...

I love it! Wow, I actually laughed out loud at that!!!

Oh Rob, I totally love your blog... *sigh*

anytime i can assist with that impotence problem you just lemme know. I'll just lay here and wait.

Happy HNT honey, and thanks for stopping by to see me, and your nice comments. :)  

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Anonymous Tommy Gunn said...

Don't worry, your secret is safe with me. LOL Nice pic, is that what they call a ban-hydra, the many headed man banana? LOL HHNT  

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Blogger Still Searching... said...

Oh my! LOL. Great HNT!  

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Blogger Aisha T. said...

I am dying over here. That pic is something else. Hey, and if you aren't attracted, you aren't attracted. Whether its mind, body or a combo. I hate that when I think a guy is hot and he opens his mouth and pure drivel comes out. I don't have a banana but, something sinks!  

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Blogger barefoot_mistress said...

woweeeeee! What bananas you have my dear! Happy HNT!!!  

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Blogger FunkyB said...

Holy God in Heaven... there IS such a thing as the perfect man.
HHNT.  

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Blogger Lee Ann said...

whoa, nice ending Rob! Happy HNT!  

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Anonymous Hill said...

Am I the only one who thoroughly enjoyed the use of the word "bonk"?

Fantastic verbiage!

Enjoyed your blog.(First time here, but I'll be back!)  

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Blogger kimmyk said...

hehe!
you do the best pictures!
(and stories to go along with 'em)see if your friend will do a HNT post. (the one who wears the glove...lol)  

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Blogger Carslemane Foraix said...

G'day Robbo.

Always suspected you were a banana bender.  

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Blogger HS said...

Sounds like your second head truely does have a mind of its own :)

I loved this post..well done!  

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Blogger lo sciocco said...

hands down... my favorite of the week.
Happy belated HNT  

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Blogger Shain A said...

What makes you a REAL man? This is a question of manhood. For men, they have to be able and willing to perform all night long. I love to be intimate with my partner as long as I want but what about when I’m tired or had a rough day at work. http://www.besthealthmed.com/viagra_ed.html  

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