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28 November 2006 at 16:58

10 things I will never do

I have been tagged by ion to list ten things I will never do:

  1. Play rugby league.
    One good tackle and I'd snap in half.

  2. Ski.
    I've spent enough time in hospitals for one lifetime.

  3. Have a baby.
    I've got a dog.

  4. Watch cricket.
    Life's too short.

  5. Meditate.
    Same as cricket.

  6. Get fat
    I've tried.

  7. Buy a Harry Potter book, film, CD or other merchandise. There are better writers in Edinburgh.

  8. Stop taking the T4 pills.
    I'd go into a coma and be dead in a couple of weeks.

  9. Overthrow capitalism.
    Capitalists manufacture the life-giving pills.

  10. Suicide-bomb Osama bin Laden.
    It's just another of my heroic fantasies. Like getting a licence to kill drivers who run a red light. Or saving a child from a rabid dog by stabbing it through the heart. The dog, not the kid.

  11. Reclaim my foreskin.
    I'm happy as a roundhead. But many people actually do hang weights from their willies for months - photographs (NSFW).

  12. Leave my partner.
    One reason is no-one else would have me now.

  13. Stop at 10.

I'm tagging keda and doviko

Blogger ion said...

Full marks for #3 and #7. I meant to compliment you on your fine-looking, proper dog- not one of those inbred ratdogs. Have never read a Harry Potter and have no intention of starting now.  


Blogger hotboy said...

Adolf! Heil! You never said you'd never get a proper job and become a Hut Manager. You and your mum could affect a reconciliation the next time she tries to steal anything. Or you could hit her over the head and bury her under the turnips. Any help would be much appreciated! Hotboy  


Blogger Lee Ann said...

I am so glad you will never have a baby or reclaim your foreskin!



Blogger hotboy said...

Adolf! Zeig! I've just clickied on the willie photies. Dearie me! Things would be much more helpful if you thought frualien, or fraulein, or young women. Adolf! Get a grip!Hotboy. p.s. Have you got a photie of your severed foreskin?  


Blogger josh williams said...

My Willie is my weight.  


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