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18 June 2006 at 14:56

urine the money

Thank you to the commenters who offered to supply raw material for my plant food business. Unfortunately, just as we filled the warehouse with bottles of Beanstalk Gold™, one of the multinationals got wind of my plan and bought me over just to shut me down.

I had to promise not to manufacture any more plant food in the future. But they didn't say anything about cosmetics. So here's the plan. Keda's recipe for a natural face pack happens to use exactly the same ingredients as the plant food.


So I'll design a new label and glue it over the top of the old labels. Bingo! A product is re-born, with 10% to Keda. I'm taking suggestions for a new brand name.

Meantime, to boost my credentials, I've already written a book to coincide with the launch of the new product range. It's called "Make Your Own Cosmetics For Free, The Natural Way" by Rob MacJay. I'm still looking for a literary agent, maybe I'll use the agency that hotboy uses to market his books worldwide.

This is an excerpt from the book:

Natural Hand Cream. Instead of buying expensive hand creams, here's a healthy tip that will also save you a fortune. Using your fingertips, give yourself a 5-minute scalp massage, then work the grease into your hands. Yes, it's really that simple. This recipe works best if you give up washing your hair, so you'll save on shampoo too.


A lot of Aussies live here on the islands. I'm sure they join me in congratulating Brazil on their skilful acting and balletic dives, and even managing to play some great football in the second half.

Blogger hotboy said...

Adolf! Zeig! Yon Brazil are just another pub team! After the old country, I'm, of course, supporting Oz. If Viduka scores first that will help! Hotboy  

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Blogger hotboy said...

Adolf! Heil! So jealous of your new money making scheme. I wish I'd thought of that. But you can branch out. There's the drinks market! You can clean up. Say the Ancient Egyptians drank this piss and look what happened to them! Also, have you thought of the homeopathic market (my cannibal soup sold out!)? Then you can just bottle tap water and waggle your willie at it. Ten percent off the top would help right now! Hotboy  

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Blogger keda said...

how about 'U rea Gorgeous!' or 'Don't Pee Shy'?

and only 10%? i think i'll stick to my own thank you very much!

and apparently the drinks market is booming. cure for cancer some say. though it has to be ones own pee and i'm not sure how you'd bottle that.  

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Blogger robmcj said...

keda and HB - I used to do that, and it helped make me what I am today. It goes well as a mixer in apple juice.

HB - Well they played rather well, don't you think, and perhaps deserved a better result.  

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Blogger hotboy said...

They'll beat Croatia! Croatia looked knackered at the end of their game. Just as long as it's hot!! That would help! Hotboy  

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Blogger robmcj said...

keda - okay, I can offer you 50%, but for that you need to supply your half the raw materials.  

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Blogger J said...

You could also sell it as a desert topping, just freeze it then crush it into slushy form.... mmm, ureal goodness.  

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Blogger robmcj said...

J - I like your thinking. D'you want a job in the marketing department? We're also launching a fabric conditioner and a homoeopathic medicine.  

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Blogger Lee Ann said...

You are so fun...and come up with the most interesting odd stuff!
~xo  

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Blogger robmcj said...

lee ann - it's always great when you visit.  

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