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10 August 2006 at 17:40

HNT skill shortage

Like most people, over the years I've learned from a lot of different people.

As a kid, my middle-class parents did a thorough job of beating the spirit out of me, so in later life I've had to re-learn spontaneity and mischief from my working-class chums.

One of my chums when I lived in Edinburgh was Biffo, a very funny and argumentative guy, who taught me how to win arguments.

One thing I learned from him was how to sabotage any discussion, using tricks like "there's new research that proves ..." or "98% of people agree that ..."

Another trick he used was confusing an irate opponent with irrelevant interruptions like "no, you don't need to apologise."

But one skill I never managed to pick up from Biffo was how to grope a woman friend while she's getting out of the taxi, though I saw him do it often. On the way home from the pub in a packed taxi, you pretend to help her out by placing your hand on her bum to steer her out, you just forget to take your hand away again as you follow her out. This also works when getting into the taxi. He used to do this to the woman I was nuts about, and whose bum I eventually spent several happy years exploring, though not in public.

Though I was always too polite to try out the taxi grope, I've lost my manners over the years, so I suppose I could probably pull it off now. Of course, I'm so old now that the only woman I know worth groping is my partner, and I can do that at home, no need to wait for a taxi ride.

I was reminded of Biffo today when I found an ancient birthday card that he sent me just after I had split up with Mary Hopkin. It contained this verse which he wrote to try and cheer me up:

I eventually fell out with him too, one of the best friends I ever had, my last remaining friend in Edinburgh. Soon after, trusting myself as advised in the verse, I jacked in my job, and escaped to begin a new life in Glasgow.

Mary, John Doe and Biffo,
before I fell out with them all

I almost forgot to include a picture of a body part. This one's also from my album, and you can click it:

Mary sometimes made me
a camembert sandwich
(click to zoom out)

PS - Lee Ann has recently quit HNT while she's at her peak. I owe her a lot. It was she who got me started in the whole Half Nekkid Therapy programme.


Blogger lily said...

It really it hard when you have a falling out. Though it's never too late...

PS - nice foot!

Happy HNT!  


Blogger Sexy Duet said...

I think a few of my male friends knew that taxi groping trick! Happy HNT

Ms SD  


Blogger Suze said...

Rob, that's a lovely story. I hope one day you renew your friendship.

I so get the connection between the foot and the camembert. LOL

Happy HNT sweetie ;)  


Blogger Isolde said...

HHNT...I miss old friends...  


Blogger lecram sinun said...

It's amazing the changes we go through. Cheers and Happy HNT!  


Blogger Mommyof3 said...

Thanks for sharing...HHNT!  


Blogger Crimson said...

Nice :) HHNT  


Blogger LushlyMe said...

What a great poem!  


Blogger Sassy One said...

Maaan! I've been groped in a taxi a few times! hehe

Great pic!



Blogger keda said...

so sad falling out with old friends.
one of mine decided she didn't want to be my friend anymore during my last trip to london. it was shocking and still makes me sad. but maybe a few years down the line she'll be happier to hear from me.
lovely story baby. and great pics, both. rather large feet you've got ;)
happy hnt sweets  


Blogger LEE ANN said...

Rob, you are awesome.
Will you be there to help me in and out of the taxi. I could think of no other that I would prefer.

You have cute tootsies, and you are such a gentleman.

Thank you for the kind words.
I am back today at this site:

Big hugs to you Rob
Happy HNT!


Blogger Jinsane said...

Great post - great pic!

I, too, owe Lee Ann for getting me started with HNT. I miss her pics!!!



Blogger hotboy said...

Adolf! Heil! Who ever understood hugging? What are these women about? Why are they hugging you? I never wanted to touch women when I were a lad unless ... then your old friend wants to hug you a lot. What is that about? Well, Adolf, agony stormtrooper, should I start groping her or not? I don't mean her bum. I mean groping her bumpy bits at the front. I suspect that might not get rid of her. How about giving me a two pronged plan? That would help. Hotboy  


Blogger cinders said...

Rob you always have the best HNT stories. Kudos! Happy HNT!  


Blogger yep, it's me.... said...

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.  


Blogger yep, it's me.... said...

I meant
THANKS for the cheer  


Blogger Aisha T. said...

That grope thing started the wheels turning in my head. How many times have i been 'accidently' groped? Maybe none, maybe lots but, now I'll be on the lookout. Lot's of tricks I've picked up from my friends that have come in and out of my life. Didn't think of it until I read your post. BTW, you were asking about how I post my pics. I finally downloaded Firefox because my browser keeps freezing up on me. So, using the Firefox browser, I can upload pics really fast. Well, relatively. Like how you ended your post with the HNT shot of your feet. Happy HNT!  


Blogger robmcj said...

lil - I'm emailing him the address of this page

SD, lecram, jinsane and & suze - thanks

keda - it must be lens distortion ;) But the feet sure weren't at their best that day.

LA - I'll help you out of anything you like. ;) Lovely to see you, and congrats on the new direction in your HNT blog.

HB - I'd like to help if I knew what you were on about.

aisha - thanks, that figures. I had drifted back into using IE for uploading.  


Blogger LushlyMe said...

You re a genius... I was having problems with my Firefox, but got it straightened out and now everything is working fine! Thanks for pointing me in the right direction!  


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