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07 September 2005 at 18:07

autobiographies

I've finished reading Kenneth Williams' diaries. I don't want to spoil the ending for you, but he takes an overdose on page 802. Fancy ending a diary like that!

Now I'm reading Barry Humphries' (a.k.a. Dame Edna) autobiography. In his younger days he used to arrange stunts to challenge people's notions of normality. One of his favourite pranks involved emptying a can of Heinz vegetable salad on the pavement to resemble a pile of vomit, then eating it up with a spoon. He says that some passers-by actually threw up themselves.

He might have approved of the military drill stunt I put on at my school. Every Monday we had to go to school in military uniform, and spend the afternoon cleaning rifles or marching. Each member of our platoon had to take a turn drilling the platoon to march around the playground, shouting like a sergeant-major to keep everyone in step:

"left ... left .... left right left".

When my turn came I trained them using a variation:

"left ... left .... left left left",

My soldiers obeyed with a repeating rhythm of 4 steps and 3 hops. This was before the days of Monty Python. The effect as we passed Colonel Carruthers was fantastic!

They sent for my father, and I knew I was in for trouble. My father, a stickler for military discipline, had been a Commander in the navy, but in our house his rank was Rear Admiral, in charge of whacking my rear. He carried out this reponsibility with enthusiasm, above and beyond the call of duty.



Me at age 14, perhaps unable to sit down

Blogger hotboy said...

Heil! Dearie me. Paramilitaries and in uniform all your young life, plus the spanking father figure. I bet there was a savage training regime before you even knew. Fair play, Adolf! Lucky you ended up just, well, let's face it, a wee bit weird! Hope this helps. Hotboy  

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Blogger robmcj said...

Are you saying you think you're more normal than me? As the song says, if being you is right, I don't want to be right.  

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Blogger hotboy said...

P.S. I meant to say savage toilet training regime, of course. From this end of the Unheard of Island, I'm the one whe decides who's a deity far less normal. Would you settle for being a wee bit odd, but a deity? Hope this helps. Hotboy  

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Blogger Lee Ann said...

aw, you are cute!  

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Blogger hotboy said...

Aw, Lee Anne, I'm such a sucker for that! Since I'm going to become a tramp, I don't need much money. But it would be good if you could get some of ra bliss! Hotboy  

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Blogger hotboy said...

Adolf! Tell Lee Ann I'm cute. In your perverted cross dressing Wehrmacht way you know it's true! Hotboys don't care about anything other than spreading ra bliss. What could be cuter! Hotboy  

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Blogger Lee Ann said...

Please explain what ra bliss is! I keep thinking I understand it, but I don't think I do.  

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Blogger Lee Ann said...

Oh, by the way, I see that I was tagged, I will be working on that list :)  

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Blogger hotboy said...

Adolf! Checking the blogosphere this morning doing damage limitations from the over lubrications of last night. Not too bad here, I'm glad to say. But I am enjoying the beer just now. I hope you're shocked! Hope this helps. Hotboy  

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Blogger robmcj said...

Hotboy. Not if it was German beer, which is technically a health food.

Lee Ann. Great.  

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