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08 September 2005 at 09:57

toilet training

It has been suggested that all my problems stem from my parents' abusive toilet training techniques when I was a baby.

As the photo shows, my toilet time was actually blissful, the happiest part of my day. Still is. Nothing wrong with that.

Blogger Lee Ann said...

Such a cute little baby, you were! Really glad you enjoy that so much. hehehe  

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Blogger hotboy said...

Put a bubble over the kid's head, saying, You're not getting it!Anal retention, Adolf. Anal retention. Also , why are you surrounded by a white towel? Also, was there a flash in the camera just to further freak you out?! Severe calvinist German toilet training at its worst!! Hope this helps. Hotboy p.s you could try regression to this time in your life and find out for sure.  

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Blogger robmcj said...

Thanks Hotboy, as usual you find a new angle. I had never noticed the white towel. It was clearly intended to freak me out - "if you put one stain on that towel you'll get battered."

But notice there was no flash used. Natural light only. It was unlike them to miss another torture technique.

For the benefit of myself and other readers, can you explain your theory of anal retention? Is it related to bliss?

By the way, I thought I was regressing.

Lee ann, my female acquaintances tell me that all babies are cute. So what you're saying is I'm just like everyone else. No-one's ever said that before, especially not hotboy. Thank you.  

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Blogger hotboy said...

Adolf! Anal retention is totally related to ra bliss! Purification imaging involves expelling faeces and urine from your body and imagining them falling towards the bliss dragon as a smaller and smaller black ball. Then the bliss dragon consumes the black ball and you are very high in the air! How to get high in the air even if you're on the ground. Of course, you can use scorpions and snakes instead of crap, but you've got to expel it and leave yourself an empty, glowing light filled cell. So yes, anal retention and ra bliss are intricately connected, but do not despair. We all have to overcome the basturns in one way or other. Having the 3rd Reich on your back will give you special problems of course. Hope this helps. Probably won't. Hotboy  

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Blogger hotboy said...

Anal retention is clinging and craving of the worst order. Middle class women circa 1951 wanted to read the Peoples Friend. And have nice three piece suites. Crapping was offensive. In the far off Irish bogland, the wanes were sat in the ashes by the fire, breathed on by cows, and if the lived past five became like my brother Silvest: Row of forty medals on his chest. Big chest.Thus, the white towel. Dearie me. Protestants, middle class and Germans as well. You've done well, Adolf, to get as far as you have! Hotboy  

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Blogger hotboy said...

You can't be full of crap and still empty. Surely not. Hotboy  

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Blogger robmcj said...

Hotboy, impressive! Who would have thought you'd have so much to contribute about crap.

I understand what you say about imagining your faeces splattering all over the place. But I'm still wondering what you yourself do while you're sitting in bliss for 5 hours. Do you come out of your trance at the end, and find yourself in a smelly heap?

Then I lost you at the finish - the connection between your much-decorated brother, and my white towel. Do you see it as your military hero versus my symbolic white flag of surrender?

I think further clarification is called for. Let me know if I can do anything to help.

PS Thanks for the commendation on my achievement, in getting as far away from Scotland as possible. My retentive skills helped me overcome the backwash by clinging to rocks. I know you tried it and got sucked back after a year. And look what happened to poor Nobis, he only made it half-way back.  

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Blogger hotboy said...

The connection between the white towel and my brother Silvest requires a lateral thought beyond me just now.
After three is four. Is this the Fourth Reich? The European Union. Do you think that is a papist conspiracy.
I cannot give you the passwords because you'd correct all my spelling mistakes and bad grammar!
Here's a cure for constipation! Breathe out completely. Suck up everything till it's all going under your ribs. Then push it out and take a big breath. Hope this helps! Hotboy  

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Blogger hotboy said...

I can only sit for an hour at most in a lotus and then I've got to move due to the agony. Can't wait till I die and enter the formless realms. Then I won't have to bother about my legs or the eliminations and can continually investigate ra bliss, non-stop. Hotboy  

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