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13 October 2005 at 01:43

taoist medicine helps buddhists too

Some time ago at RaBlissCave, hotboy asked me to prescribe something to treat the retention deficit disorder that has plagued him for years, messing up his life and his walls.

Studying Western medicine before I got in with bad company has qualified me to diagnose the real cause: his overconsumption of German white beer. But who can blame him? The remedy I'm prescribing is an old German Taoist cure called Franziskaner Weissbier Dunkel, literally "dark white beer". It's the best way to get some balance into your life.


I'll be making housecalls over on his side of the island, to make sure he takes the medicine daily. He has a habit of saving it all up for a big binge at the weekend. No wonder he thinks every weekend lasts 5 days.

 Hotboy said...

Adolf! Zeig! Thanks for the help with the beer consumption, but I've just checked my weight. Up a stone since the start of August. This is called breathing in. Beer. Now I have to start breathing out, or I'll end up being normal. Dearie me. BTW I don't always walk about dressed as in the photie. Breathing out training gear. The bin liner is under two layers. I think I might be becoming a little eccentric. Do you think this'll help? Hotboy  

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 Lee Ann said...

HB, make sure to take your medicine like a good boy!  

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 onan the bavarian said...

LA - good on you! He might listen to you.

HB - if you're not wearing your undies on your head yet, you're probably still normal. But to answer your excellent question, yes, I find that eccentricity helps a lot. This morning I put on my ankle-weights before the one-hour power walk. So what if people stared at the man with the sandbags on his legs, I must have sweated off several pounds. Which is actually the last thing I need: I'm already way below my fighting weight. Have been all my life. But it would help you.  

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 Hotboy said...

Adolf! Heil! Good idea with the sandbags. I think I could add that to my Beer Monster Reduction Vehicle. Sandbags? I that the way the old people steal the earth, like in The Great Escape. Earthbags, to weigh you down! Basturns! That's how! Down the trouser legs. But, seriously, people will pay hundreds of pounds for this weight loss earth. We could still clean up! Hope this helps. Hotboy  

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 onan the bavarian said...

HB - if you ever try jogging with ankle-weights, it's the wierdest sensation, like having magnetic feet. They seem to want to stick to the ground and to each other. Actually, that might be right up your street, a new kind of mind-altering experience. Go for it!  

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 Lee Ann said...

I have exercised with ankle weights. It is wierd! It makes your legs feel much lighter when you take them off :)  

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 zomba said...

My Dear Robmcj,

I saw your photograph of Hotboy, and I must say - I am very worried about him. I fear the drink has done for him.

I remember Hotboy with a Physique much more akin to this.

Its obviously a terminal case of Retention Deficit Disorder.

RDD is rather outwith my experience. What colour do you recommend he should he take, for the cure?

MM III  

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 Hotboy said...

Adolf! Zeig! I have the ankle weights on now, adapted from wrist weights! Also, the jumpers, bin liner, etc. I tried to read about post-modernism from the link on my blog and couldn't understand a word. I don't even know what semolina is and I used to eat it. The evils of drink! Could you sum it all up in a pithy phrase, or sentence at the most. Hotboy p.s. Did you see me when I was a bodybuilder? Universalist, me. Got the wet teeshirt for everything!  

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 onan the bavarian said...

LA - you're right, it's a fantastic feeling when you take them off again. I get the same feeling after a night with the pantsaclava, or when I stop banging my head off the wall. Everything balances out over time.

MM - I haven't studied colour therapy yet, it's one of the few things I know nothing about.

HB - You just need to remember this. Literally anything is a valid text. There is no such thing as a good text or good writer. It's all in the eye of the beholder.  

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 zomba said...

I say!

My original reference was to Jack 'n Jills. However, colour therapy sounds much more interesting.

MM III  

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