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03 May 2006 at 10:26

webs and knots

What a fortunate man I am to be alive!

I've just resurfaced from under the house, where I was crawling about doing the annual check for termites. There were lots of spiders, none of them poisonous.

Thank goodness all the black shiny spiders that moved in under my bedroom a few years ago seem to have cleared out now. They were poisonous. Not deadly, but who would want to verify that? They lived in burrows, and in the mating season they used to make horrible cracking sounds when they were fighting. I could hear them through the floorboards, I think they must have been crunching each other's antlers or something.

This is one of the spiders I used to have:




The spider in the second picture looks less butch but it's deadly. It's a funnel-web spider. If you find one under your bedroom, clear out, move house if necessary.




The huntsman spider, seen below, is even bigger and hairier. This is the one that bit me in the middle of the night, when I lived in Australia. It's harmless, but how was I to know that?





Yesterday, Blogger seemed to be accepting comments but not posts. I'm not sure if this was a global phenomenon, or if I had simply tied my PC in knots by logging on as several different bloggers at once. At one point, I thought I was commenting as myself but the comment ended up being by someone called Alec McClochendichter.

There's a wedding I have to go to this Saturday. Some people look forward to weddings. Not me. Even though they are lovely people and it's a society wedding so we're going to be mixing with the cream of the UnHeard Of showbiz world, it's going to be hard work as far as I'm concerned. What to wear? What present to buy? How to disguise my MP3 headphones so nobody notices I'm tuning out? A pantaclava would cover it, but I don't have a formal one. Some people tune out by rolling their eyes up into their head. That would be useful.

Okay, because I like the couple I'll probably manage to enjoy the actual vows. But if you ask me they should start the honeymoon right after the ceremony, and the guests could go off and watch a nice video, maybe the David Attenborough spider documentary.

Sources acknowledged.

Blogger Lee Ann said...

Oh, the spiders look scary! I can't stand them, I would have freaked out.
I don't like weddings too much either. I just can't help it. Oh well. I hope it turns out fun for you.
Oh yes, I am glad you are still alive!  

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Blogger hotboy said...

Adolf! Heil! One of the big ones used to make a new web outside our door in Perth every night. Fab! Also, the weddding is your big chance to clean up. There's bound to be a publisher there. Just grab him and shake him till the money falls out. That would help. Hotboy  

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Blogger keda said...

you are evil. i'll be itching all night now.
pooh i'm off to have a .... oh no what if there's a spider in the bath?!

damn you robalecattenbroughclavaman!

i am secretly glad you are still alive too though!  

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Blogger Spinning Girl said...

I have the complete heebie jeebies from those pictures.

AND they move.

Ugh.  

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