It's nearly the end of January, and I haven't made a New Year's Resolution. Last year was my year of the flab. My 2005 new year's resolution was to beef up to my fighting weight through a programme of rigorous beer drinking. I had some success, and by December I managed to achieve the beginnings of a pair of love-handles. It wasn't quite the Schwarzenegger form I had been hoping for, but it was something.
What could be my resolution for 2006? I read an article that scientifically re-examined various old wives' tales: wait an hour after meals before swimming; garlic cures a cold. That kind of thing.
They talked about the one my parents told me - masturbation makes you blind. In fact:
"... masturbation is a healthy activity, says Dr Terri Foran, sexual health physician and lecturer. Masturbation is by no means dangerous, she says, adding that she especially recommends it for single people of all ages who are outside a relationship, or couples who are aged or have disabilities, or as part of any couple's normal sexual repertoire."
Wow! That just about covers every group in society.
It seems I haven't been masturbating enough up to now. So 2006 is going to be the year of the wank. But how will I measure my progress during the year?
I'm posting the next bit just in case it might help someone with a similar problem. One reason I haven't had much time for blogging recently is that I bought a digital TV tuner for my PC. I've spent ages trying to get the bloody thing to work. I've tried everything, including getting up on the roof and installing an antenna.
Last night, I tried one more tweak. Just in case the USB port was slowing things up, I plugged the thing into each of the other USB ports in turn. At the seventh attempt - bingo! Now I can watch TV on the PC. Not that I actually want to do that, I just want it to play with. Boys and their toys.
