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24 January 2006 at 05:10

what year is it?

It's nearly Chinese New Year. On the bus from work yesterday, I overheard a conversation about which animal is the next one. One person thought the pig, another said the donkey. Do you know the correct answer?

It's nearly the end of January, and I haven't made a New Year's Resolution. Last year was my year of the flab. My 2005 new year's resolution was to beef up to my fighting weight through a programme of rigorous beer drinking. I had some success, and by December I managed to achieve the beginnings of a pair of love-handles. It wasn't quite the Schwarzenegger form I had been hoping for, but it was something.

What could be my resolution for 2006? I read an article that scientifically re-examined various old wives' tales: wait an hour after meals before swimming; garlic cures a cold. That kind of thing.

They talked about the one my parents told me - masturbation makes you blind. In fact:

"... masturbation is a healthy activity, says Dr Terri Foran, sexual health physician and lecturer. Masturbation is by no means dangerous, she says, adding that she especially recommends it for single people of all ages who are outside a relationship, or couples who are aged or have disabilities, or as part of any couple's normal sexual repertoire."

Wow! That just about covers every group in society.

It seems I haven't been masturbating enough up to now. So 2006 is going to be the year of the wank. But how will I measure my progress during the year?



I'm posting the next bit just in case it might help someone with a similar problem. One reason I haven't had much time for blogging recently is that I bought a digital TV tuner for my PC. I've spent ages trying to get the bloody thing to work. I've tried everything, including getting up on the roof and installing an antenna.

Last night, I tried one more tweak. Just in case the USB port was slowing things up, I plugged the thing into each of the other USB ports in turn. At the seventh attempt - bingo! Now I can watch TV on the PC. Not that I actually want to do that, I just want it to play with. Boys and their toys.

Blogger Lee Ann said...

very interesting!  

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Blogger hotboy said...

Adolf! Zeig! For the sake of imperialism, this year must be the year of the Bushbaby! Tehran here we come! As for the other ... well, as a Taoist, you won't be ejaculating at your age anyway, so you need to find a cane for the punitive whacking. This will help when nothing else will. Hotboy  

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Blogger Lee Ann said...

Are you still playing with your toy? hehe  

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Blogger hotboy said...

Adolf! Heil! Cane? Got my cross references crossed again there. Public school and the nazi regime. Punitive? Whacking? It's all there. In cruciform. Dearie me! How can getting crucified be a help to anyone? Hotboy.  

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Blogger hotboy said...

Adolf! Heil! That's got to be a koan! Teeshirts? HOW CAN GETTING CRUCIFIED BE A HELP TO ANYONE? Just give me half of one percent, Adolf! You could clean up with that one. This would help if you were a person from the third world and had no money, but otherwise ... Hotboy  

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Blogger hotboy said...

Adolf! Zeig! Sorry for writing on your bloggie so much! But is that the first Christian koan? Do I get any points for that remark on the NARSCISSISSTICCILLY PERSONALITY DISORDER scale? I need much more of that. An aspiration. Hottie  

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