As Southern Hemisphere agent for the books of John McKenzie, I have my finger on the pulse of the book-buying market here in the UnHeard Of Islands. For a long time I had been pleading with him to rip off Irvine Welsh or J. K. Rowling, two top-selling Edinburgh authors. Or if he couldn't do that, I wanted him to write something more postmodern and self-referential.
Well, now he's combined all three of my suggestions in his new book. It's a sort of Billy Bunter in Edinburgh, with the author chatting knowingly over the reader's shoulder. Brilliant ploy! This book can't fail. Even the gratuitous Buddhist jargon in the story is a selling point nowadays (look at all the made-up words the poor reader is forced to wade through in Lord Of The Rings and Harry Potter).
I am proud to have been involved in the inspiration and planning of this book, and I ask for no reward except the usual 10% off the top.
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16 September 2006 at 06:24
new book
Hotboy said...
Adolf! Heil! So you haven't read it then! Doesn't matter. We'll go fifty fifty on all Unheard of sales until you make a million! Tell you what, you can take over the authorship as well. I'll be your Bernie Taupin, the guy who writes the lyrics for Elton John! You have to whistle while you make me rich, or at least as rich as you. We could clean up! Hotboy p.s. Get the band aid nudie photie on the cover. A big selling point.
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Lelly said...
According to a site "I've" discovered I facially resemble J. K. Rowling by 60%. (You can find a link to the site ON MY LATEST POST)
Do you think I could sue for facial plagiarism? Most amused that Hotboy feels he has to explain who Bernie Taupin is!
(have you missed me?)
Very entertaining HNT, btw (as always)
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Lee Ann said...
You and hotboy are both an inspiration to me!
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onan the bavarian said...
HB - I have indeed read some of it, and would have gone on to page 3 if the houseguest, vomiting etc. hadn't intervened.
I am indeed rich, in the sense of having everything I need, except my own private bomb-proof jet.
lelly - of course you've been missed. I thought you'd given up the blogosphere. If JK Rowling's older than you, she might sue you for facial plagiarism. She could do with the money.
lee ann - as far as I'm concerned it's a mutual admiration society. Nothing wrong with that.
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onan the bavarian said...
I tried that site in a comment at Lee Ann's place. I look like Brian Dennehy, and loads of other people I've never heard of but who are not exactly famous for their beauty. I'm just happy to be recognisably human.
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