24 May 2005 at 13:07
A few hours after losing my virginity we all went to Edinburgh Castle, where this picture was taken. Her previous boyfriend, whose name was something like Denis, was the leader of a Hell's Angel chapter. Our relationship lasted several weeks, during which she soon learned that if she said the magic words "I thought I saw Denis and his mates over there," it was a handy way of getting me to do what she wanted.
My initiation had taken place in my bedroom. She and I were in my bed, while from the next bed my room-mate interviewed me on my impressions of the experience, so that I had to keep up a running commentary. He was in love with her but she wasn't interested, although their relaxed body language in the picture below suggests otherwise.
In the morning, when the landlady knocked on the door with a cup of tea, there was a mad scramble to hide my lover in the wardrobe.
It wasn't till a week later that she and I made love without an audience, and I found myself kind of missing the suppport of a third party. At least he had kept the conversation going.
I have avoided identifying her, and am even considering applying pixellation, just in case she sees this, and is still in touch with Denis and his Angels.
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23 May 2005 at 16:22
Here's your chance to catch up with the
Blogtalk Downunder conference (Sydney, 19-21 May 2005). I'm doing my best to summarise each paper, for the convenience of colleagues and anyone else interested in the future of blogging in general, and especially in educational applications of blogs.
So far I have blogged these summaries:
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20 May 2005 at 17:16
NOT LISTENING
Many people don't know how to listen, they're too busy jumping down your throat in search of springboards for their own pet themes. Spending time with these people only encourages them, so this blog recommends you avoid them, especially if you actually enjoy your own company.
LISTENING TO YOURSELF
Choosing solitude used to be regarded with suspicion, and listening to yourself was once a sign of madness, but nowadays you can claim you're practising a higher-order skill called reflection (also known as cognitive housekeeping).
BLOG FOR HEALTH
And blogging is now officially good for your health, "combining the benefits of solitary reflection and social interaction", according to this medical report.
HISTORY
In fact it was the 17th-century French philosopher and physicist Blaise Pascal (after whom the Pascal programming language is named) who first observed that all troubles stem from man's inability to sit alone at a computer.~
19 May 2005 at 20:35
Transmission from HMAS Puffin off SOUTHEAST QUEENSLAND at 7:34 AM Thursday, 19 May 2005.Ahoy! With the storm-clouds over Brisbane just visible in the distance over to starboard, and most of my breakfast just lost overboard, we're more than half-way to Sydney already. Our captain has generously let me plug the laptop into the ship's radio to type this, as long as I am quick, so here goes.
It turns out that one of the other passengers is headed for the very same
conference as me, where he's delivering a paper on
the industrial ecology of interface technologies, an area of interest which he shares with the MacDonald Institute back home. It really is a small world. I was able to offer some constructive comment on his paper, and he in turn was gracious enough to complement me on my work on
Cross-Cultural Blogging.
But I don't mind telling you,
TOP PRIORITY FOR IMMEDIATE BROADCAST - SEVERE THUNDERSTORM WARNING - SOUTHEAST QUEENSLAND. Issued at 7:38 AM Thursday, 19 May 2005.
This warning is also available through TV and Radio broadcasts, the Bureau's website at www.bom.gov.au or call 1300 659 219. The Bureau would appreciate this warning being broadcast regularly
(transmission ends)
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18 May 2005 at 22:18
In response to questions from readers asking where this blog is published, here is a map.
After several happy years on Heard Island, I was forced to relocate to Shag Island after penguins drank my entire winter supply of home brew in one night. I should never have used plastic bottles.
Below, you can see a live webcam view looking west from where I live. For obvious reasons, any penguin sighting should be reported immediately. Thank you.
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17 May 2005 at 20:20
The
Blogtalk Downunder conference is happening this weekend in Sydney, and I was able to get a berth at short notice on the outrigger leaving tomorrow. In return for exemption from the substantial conference fees, I've agreed to deliver a paper reflecting my experience of island culture, with the working title:
No Blog is an Island
The Semiotics of Cross-Cultural Blogging in the UnHeard of & McDonald Islands.
ABSTRACT: The fact that we can construct a model of the world and exist within it has its good points and bad points. Most of us are not even living in the present; we spend most of our time reliving the past or imagining the future. Yet, without any technology, the indigenous peoples of the UnHeard of & McDonald Islands have for centuries been simulating life.The paper will make reference to the Ralwin postulate, which maintains that we construct a model of ourselves and place it within the model of the world.
The presentation will conclude with a demonstration of WebPaste, a world-class technique for generating academic abstracts, developed at the MacDonald Island Institute.Now all I have to do is write the paper during the passage to Sydney, at the same time as pulling on the oars. I'll be relying on
experience gained some years ago.
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16 May 2005 at 11:53
On the
Unheard of McDonald Islands this morning, the cream of society turned out to salute the short troubled life of the enigrammatic Nobis Ralwin.
The beachside dawn funeral, in which I participated via binoculars for obvious reasons, was respectful and understated. I'll say this for the McDonald Islanders, they really know how to do things at half-mast.
Though Nobby is gone forever, I can't help feeling that he'll still be with us, in some sense.
Robmcj (eyewitness)
c/o MIMI
PS the last 3 chapters in his decline are starkly documented in
ThissBlog, and
here and
here .
15 May 2005 at 14:50
Last month, on the night before my birthday, I had another bucket of beer ready for bottling, but no bottles.
"Darling," said Cassandra, "what would you like to do tomorrow for your birthday? Whatever you want, we'll do it."
I longed to try something we had never done before, so I whispered my request in her ear. She took it well, next day we got up at 5 a.m. and set off in the rain, with the dog, several carrier bags and a rucksack. It was bin day, and while Cass restrained the dog I raked through some of the best recycling bins in the neighbourhood. That morning we collected 29 premium bottles before sunrise. The memory of the experience - man, woman and dog working together against the elements and bringing home the provisions - is a primal moment I'll always treasure. I'm lucky to have someone as adventurous and sporting as Cass.
She went off to work after breakfast, leaving me to get started on bottling the beer. I knew if I worked fast, I might just have time left to sort my plastic bag collection too.
Sad to say, all this is true. Read it now before I wipe it and deny it ever happened. This vow of self revelation is getting out of hand.
Historical note: I share my birthday with the Fuehrer, but that's just another coincidence, like the
The Wedding Banquo.
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13 May 2005 at 11:28
In response to the reader who reported trouble pronouncing "robmcj": I am pleased that the name is cropping up often enough in conversation for you to seek guidance, and impressed that you're taking it seriously.
I think your problem is you've been trying to pronounce it as raw bum kudge, which is hard to say. The official pronunciation on the birth certificate, and the one that most people prefer, is rob muck jay.
I hope you and your friends find that easier.
robmcj
11 May 2005 at 11:43
This the earliest thing I can recall, burned into memory by the disgusting taste of the ale. It would be decades before I could stomach beer again (lesson: never do anything just to please your father), but I'm doing my best now to make up lost time. Last week I bottled more than 150 bottles of home brew, which should tide me over the winter here at the Unheard of McDonald Islands. I have stashed them in a new hiding place. Things turned nasty when the penguins found the last batch.
Connoisseurs of china might notice the beer tankard with tasteful 3D motif of old books, and pewter lid. It could be worth a few dollars by now, but my mother threw out everything that wasn't Tupperware. Lesson: hide everything from your mother and penguins.
Beer connoisseurs will notice that the beer was Bass.
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08 May 2005 at 11:26
Western Australia is pretty insular, even by Australian standards. On TV this week, their opposition leader was being interviewed after it was revealed that he plans to take his girlfriend with him on tax-funded trip to Europe, including the Vatican.
Interviewer: "If you are invited to an official dinner at the Vatican, do you think it would be appropriate to take your partner with you?"
Politician: "If the Pope happened to have his partner there, then yes, absolutely."
More details and discussion at
The Curt Jester~
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04 May 2005 at 11:34
You can use Photoshop to get the effect of a black-and-white print that has been hand-tinted, but this one really was done by hand, in Berlin between the wars.
By the time I met my great-aunt she was old, and the only part of her that I recognise here is the sad or perhaps sullen demeanour, but you might see something different.
Below is another picture using the same technique, of my aunt's nieces, i.e. my aunt and mother, around 1935. For most of my life I thought of my mother as the serious sister, and my aunt as the cheery one, but here the expressions are reversed. Either my mother really was as open and optimistic as she looks, or she was good at posing for the camera.
I'll try and locate a more recent picture of them, for comparison.
(click for full size photo)
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at 10:24
(click for full size photo)
Alright, this is an experiment. I was aged 1 in this picture, too young to remember anything, and if I can't find something to say I'll take it off again. Any ideas?
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02 May 2005 at 22:52
I've discovered that if you place a well known name in a post title, Google likes that better than a nondescript title.
If you've been navigated here in the process of theological study or you're researching the antichrist of I.T., my apologies. I'm like, "you think I'm another of J-Lo's Boy Toys?" and you're like, "Ohmigod!"
