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30 November 2006 at 19:21

HNT appendage DIY memelet

I was tagged by the incomparable Lelly to write "Six weird facts/habits about yourself". I already posted three weirdnesses a while ago, but Lelly tells me they weren't weird enough. Okay, I can't do eye-rolling headstands, but here's one more weird thing.

The Rules: "Post six weird facts/habits about yourself. These cannot be used against you later on! At the end of the post name the six people you will tag next. Leave them a comment to let them know they've been tagged and to read your blog."



Do it yourself. Like a lot of guys, I hate the idea of paying someone else to do something I can do myself. And I'm not talking only about home repairs and electrics.

For instance, the last time I paid someone to cut my hair was more than 20 years ago. I always cut my own hair. I use proper hairdresser's scissors, and two mirrors so I can see the back of my head. Just think of the money I've saved over the decades! Of course sometimes I look like I've fallen under a lawnmower, but what do you expect for nothing?

When I developed an ingrown toenail recently, I used Google to find sites on DIY podiatry, then I fixed the problem myself with a toothpick and an old scalpel left over from when I studied anatomy. Result - I saved the $55 podiatrist fee.





HNT_1

If you missed previous HNTs, you can access all the old half baked thursday posts here.

Blogger Suze said...

Ouch! I had the ingrowing toe nail thing some years ago. You were brave indeed to do your own surgery.

Happy HNT sweetie ;)  

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Blogger keda said...

ooh i get those.. ouch! but with both hair and toes, and actually waxing, it's no fun doing it yourself..
not only is it harder to inflict pain on oneself, but also you have noone to blame, slag off and swear at afterwards.
that's half the fun of the ordeal. getting to know that because you paid someone you are thoroughly entitled to complain about them!

and i comlain about myself enough already.

happy hnt ya tight basturd ;)  

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Blogger Regal said...

Happy HNT  

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Blogger robmcj said...

suze - not brave, just mean, ask keda.  

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Anonymous loz said...

ouch is right, and brave also! happy hnt.  

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Anonymous unshroud said...

ouch indeed and a bit of eeewwwww thrown in as well lol

HHNT!

Annette  

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Blogger Schadeboy said...

Yes, why pay for it when you can do it yourself? That's my motto.

My wife wishes I would change my motto.

happy HNT!  

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Blogger Polt said...

ouch! My GOD, that's just....well, as long as it worked for you I guess that's all that matters...

HAPPY HNT! (and good luck with that toenail...)  

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Blogger hotboy said...

Adolf! Heil! Weird? A photie of the severed foreskin would have been weird, especially if you'd cut off someone else's. But being mean? I live in a country full of mean Scottish basturns! Nothing weird about being mean around these parts! Hotboy  

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Blogger hotboy said...

Adolf! Zeig! Ingrown toenails? Cut the top of your toenail into a v-shape. Place a bit of bogroll under the dodgy side to lift up nail a little. Leave alone. That'll be 55 dollars please! Hotboy  

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Blogger Hollz said...

OMG!! i had one like a week ago and i was almost in tears trying to get it out.. i know how you feel.. nail files work great as well.
Happy HNT!  

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Blogger Crimson said...

Ouch on the toe, man.

HHNT :)  

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Blogger LEE ANN said...

Oh good for you Rob! I know that must be painful, but if you were able to fix it, that helps with the savings!!!
Happy HNT!
~xo  

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Blogger ray ray winston said...

just hoping you cleaned it first  

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Blogger Lelly said...

...incomparable eh?? Shucks! :) Mind you i wouldn't mind being compared - favourably! - with say, Angelina or Madge for example. Your pic reminds me of a finger buffet I went to recently, lots of dodgy things on cocktail sticks there too! I agree with Hotboy tho...still not weird enough Rob! HHNT!  

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Blogger Polyman3 said...

Have a friend that solved his tonail problem once and for all; took a pliers and ripped the whole nail off in disgust.
Your funny & a little weird. I just took the same quiz & I got my own weirdness.  

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Blogger hotboy said...

Adolf! Zeig! and Heil! We all know you are normal. Give us a break. Put it onto the young women with the fantastic thighs from cycling and joining in. Also, more sex videos, the stuff with the alcohol free beer and the severed legs. None of this willie stuff and the toenail stuff is helping at all. But good work on attracting the young women to your bloggy. That's very impressive. Bound to help. Have you had a face transplant then? Hotboy  

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Post a Comment

28 November 2006 at 16:58

10 things I will never do

I have been tagged by ion to list ten things I will never do:


  1. Play rugby league.
    One good tackle and I'd snap in half.


  2. Ski.
    I've spent enough time in hospitals for one lifetime.


  3. Have a baby.
    I've got a dog.


  4. Watch cricket.
    Life's too short.


  5. Meditate.
    Same as cricket.


  6. Get fat
    I've tried.


  7. Buy a Harry Potter book, film, CD or other merchandise. There are better writers in Edinburgh.


  8. Stop taking the T4 pills.
    I'd go into a coma and be dead in a couple of weeks.


  9. Overthrow capitalism.
    Capitalists manufacture the life-giving pills.


  10. Suicide-bomb Osama bin Laden.
    It's just another of my heroic fantasies. Like getting a licence to kill drivers who run a red light. Or saving a child from a rabid dog by stabbing it through the heart. The dog, not the kid.


  11. Reclaim my foreskin.
    I'm happy as a roundhead. But many people actually do hang weights from their willies for months - photographs (NSFW).


  12. Leave my partner.
    One reason is no-one else would have me now.


  13. Stop at 10.


I'm tagging keda and doviko

Blogger ion said...

Full marks for #3 and #7. I meant to compliment you on your fine-looking, proper dog- not one of those inbred ratdogs. Have never read a Harry Potter and have no intention of starting now.  

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Blogger hotboy said...

Adolf! Heil! You never said you'd never get a proper job and become a Hut Manager. You and your mum could affect a reconciliation the next time she tries to steal anything. Or you could hit her over the head and bury her under the turnips. Any help would be much appreciated! Hotboy  

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Blogger Lee Ann said...

I am so glad you will never have a baby or reclaim your foreskin!

~xo  

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Blogger hotboy said...

Adolf! Zeig! I've just clickied on the willie photies. Dearie me! Things would be much more helpful if you thought frualien, or fraulein, or young women. Adolf! Get a grip!Hotboy. p.s. Have you got a photie of your severed foreskin?  

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Blogger josh williams said...

My Willie is my weight.  

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Post a Comment

24 November 2006 at 02:39

family background

So how come I'm blogging again now, if it has become such a chore and a bore? Surely I would be better giving up blogging altogether?

No way! Thanks to a Scottish Protestant childhood with German overtones, one thing I learned as a kid is how to keep on doing something I'm not enjoying. How else would I have got where I am today?



I phoned the aunt just now. She couldn't speak because she was in the middle of watching an important quiz on the TV. So I called my mother. She couldn't speak either, she was in the middle of watching Rumpole. After that, she'll be watching Pie In The Sky, followed by a programme about the Queen Mother. But I'm welcome to phone back when it's all over.

We're not a very close family. Thank goodness for that! Otherwise I would never have wrenched myself away from them to come and live here at the bottom of the world in the UnHeard Of paradise.

Blogger hotboy said...

Adolf! Heil! They probably thought you were going to ask them for money, or to find out if they were about to make you well off by kicking the bucket. They'd talk to you quick as a flash if you became a Hut Manager. Having a proper job would help. Hotboy  

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Blogger ray ray winston said...

well i for one am glad that you're blogging. as usual, your self-flagellation has made me feel better about myself.  

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Blogger ray ray winston said...

and my daughter likes falling sand and i also stole the fallen art. loved it thanks.  

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Blogger Dinma said...

Yhey probably thought you had some other intentions calling them.Pls don't quit blogging.It's a whole lot of fun.  

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Blogger Menzies Milngavie III said...

I say!

Your aunt and your mother are obviously covering up for the fact that they are enthralled by the play from the Gabba, and thereby glued to their television screens.

In other words, they don't want you to realise that they are closet cricket fans. It happens.

From your vantage point in the UnHeard Of Islands, perhaps you might comment on Ricky's decision not to enforce the follow-on?

MM III  

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Blogger Menzies Milngavie III said...

I say Ray Ray!

Have you ever been ban ban-ned?

MM III  

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Blogger robmcj said...

MM - I have forwarded your question about Ricky and the Gabba to Spud's mum. I know nothing about crouquet, but if that's shiny leather ball in Ray Ray's hand, I think he may be a spin bowler.  

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Blogger Menzies Milngavie III said...

I say!

I think that Ray Ray may be tampering with that ball!

MM III  

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Blogger ray ray winston said...

wouldn't be the first time i've been accused w/ ball tampering.  

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Post a Comment

22 November 2006 at 14:12

pointless holiday photo




Blogger hotboy said...

Adolf! Heil! Are you developing a sense of humour? I can't wait till burkas become fashionable for men! You could be armed to the teeth under one of them. Shooty shooty then run away, totally unrecognisable. That would help with the getaway! Hotboy p.s. Is it racial or sexual discrimination that we can't wear them? We can! Where can I get one?  

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Blogger hotboy said...

Adolf! Zeig! Do you think it would be easier to chat up women in a burka? Bound to help! Hotboy  

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Blogger Lee Ann said...

Happy Thanksgiving sweetie!!!
Have fun and be safe!
~xo  

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Blogger Tricia said...

Alrighty then...

Happy Thanksgiving sweetie!
Eat well.
Belch much.  

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Blogger robmcj said...

HB - I believe they sell male burkhas ("Blokeas") at RaBlissShoppe.  

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Post a Comment

19 November 2006 at 14:18

avoidance

When I first began teaching, I used to work at home every weekend, preparing classroom materials for the coming week. Nowadays, I do the opposite - I make it a rule never to work at home. If they're not paying me to work weekends, why do it? 1

Since I got back from overseas, I've been gradually losing the will to blog. It just seems like a chore for me just now. Does anyone else go through these phases? Is the Narcissistic Personality Disorder cured?

I actually chose to spend most of this weekend working at home. I know why I did it - subconsciously I'm avoiding blogging.

This is crazy. Lots of people blog at work during the week, to avoid working. I've been working at home all weekend, to avoid blogging. I suppose things are balancing up.



1 - Luckily, I have a job where it's almost impossible to be sacked. Even if I took a bribe at the same time as performing unspeakable acts in the classroom, the worst that would happen would be suspension on full pay while I was rehabilitated. What a fortunate creature I am!

Blogger Lee Ann said...

I have been going through it too Rob. The only thing that has even kept me going is that I don't want to lose touch with all of the great people here!

Just email if you don't feel like blogging! But, don't go away forever. Take a break if you need to, but don't disappear.
::hugs::  

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Blogger hotboy said...

Adolf! Heil! If you gave up blogging to meditate more, well, I could understand that! As far as getting the sack is concerned, you could try working on that since I need a hut manager. Try showing up in your pyjamas. As a start, that would help! Hotboy  

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Blogger josh williams said...

Yes darlin' there is great pressure to blog, don't let it get you down. I do it mostly when its time for bed and I am to tired to read, watch the tube or sleep, so I just post, I guess you could have guessed most of this...JW  

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Blogger hotboy said...

Adolf! Zeig! You've got the grand ennui brought on by returning from foreign aunties in jackboots to be with the penguins once more. The icy winter coming up and all. Don't worry about the Narcissistic Personality Disorder getting cured. That's not going to happen. My advice to you is to think about hut management as a future career. That would help somebody, probably you! Hotboy  

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Post a Comment

16 November 2006 at 10:30

HNT mr. big idiot

Last week I had a minor altercation with another dog owner, after our dogs had a fight.

I'm actually glad it happened, because it started me thinking about the complex world of dog-walk etiquette. Each time you meet another dog, you have a complex interaction of at least 4 unpredictable animals - 2 owners and 2 dogs.

I decided it was time to practice recalling my dog before she actually engages with the other dog, so that I'd be able to prevent fights. Because, by the time two dogs have actually started to fight, they're usually deaf to anything their owners say. If you shout at them, to a dog's ears you are barking and joining in the fight, and that makes things worse.

Anyway, I was doing the usual bushwalk this morning, and the headphones were playing Free's "Mr. Big." It was just at the point where all the instruments lay down a headbanging monotonous riff while the bass takes off on a solo that, on a good day, can turn your brains inside out, in a good way.

We were just at that part of the forest where the path narrows to single file as the trees close in on all sides. At the other end of this tunnel of trees, there appeared this great slobbering alsatian (aka german shepherd) and his owner. Naturally my dog ran ahead to make contact. I dragged my attention away from the headphones and called her back. She ignored me, and was almost upon the other dog when I let her have it. My scream at her came out extra loud because:




Unfortunately, the alsatian took my shouting as a challenge, and was pleading to its owner to be allowed to kill us. Meantime, my dog came trotting obediently back to me. Success! So I began backing us both out of the tunnel to make way for the other pair. The guy could have given me some space to do this, but they kept advancing on us.

As they drew level with us, the dog was roaring at mine, while the owner was making what he thought were calming purring noises. But since I'm an honorary dog pack member, I was able to hear the guy through dog ears. To a dog he was actually going "Grrr Grrr!". Joining in the snarling. No wonder his dog's a psycho killer. The guy turned to me and said "he's very gentle really."

Some days I wonder why everybody except me is an idiot.

After they moved on, my composure was gone and the rest of Mr. Big was wasted on me.

Fortunately, the headphones were on random play, and the next song they chose was My Brother Jake. In the first 3 seconds, there are 3 descending chords that tell you that everything's going to be okay, everything balances out in the end. A mere handful of chords can shake your molecules into harmonious alignment. Fantastic.




HNT_1

If you missed previous HNTs, you can access all the old half baked thursday posts here.



This is a freelance Taoist blog.
Every true story contains a wee lie.
And every lie contains a grain of truth.


PS - If you are using the new version of Internet Explorer (i.e. IE v7), the links in this post were unclickable earlier today. There was a fault in IE7 or in my template, either way I've fixed the template. Only wasted most of the day tracing it.

If you're still using IE 6, I'd say don't upgrade yet. There's more info here.

Better still, ditch IE and use Firefox.

Anonymous Felicity said...

God do I love dogs. Way more than I love people.
HHNT!  

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Blogger robmcj said...

felicity - dogs always love you back  

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Blogger lime said...

well glad it didn't get any uglier than that. your dog is a pretty one!

HHNT  

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Blogger Chelle said...

That gave me the heebie geebies! hehe Mean dogs scare me!! Glad yours was ok!

HHNT :)  

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Anonymous loz said...

most excellent! great doggie you have, too. happy hnt :).  

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Anonymous Sandi said...

"Some days I wonder why everybody except me is an idiot."

I wonder that same thing!

Glad your dog is ok:)  

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Anonymous Butterfly said...

That dog really looks terrifying!

Happy HNT!  

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Blogger keda said...

very pretty dog. i'm not a big alsatian fan since being attacked by an apparently 'sweet' on aged 4.
'orrible things.

happy hnt. sorry you missed yr song. being cock-ear blocked by a dog is just bad form.
happy hnt babe.  

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Blogger Lelly said...

FAR too busy to trawl through your entire HNT story, but your dog looks sweet, does he have an element of Staffie in him, perchance?  

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Blogger hotboy said...

Adolf! Heil! We had a cross between a greyhound and an Irish wolfhoundish. Totally quiet, placid animal, which ignored other dogs. We got molested one day by an alsatian. The alsatian attacked my dog. Big mistake since my dog killed things on moors every week. No messing. Straight for the throat. I was totally impressed. Get yourself a decent dog. Call it Fang. And get a shotgun. That would help! Hotboy  

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Blogger Suze said...

At last I am able to comment. I have had to use Alex's pc which has Firefox installed.

Rob are you aware that you cannot click anything on your blog if you use IE?

I can't believe that guy coming straight at you when his dog is obviously angry. What an idiot!

Happy HNT sweetie ;)  

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Blogger robmcj said...

Suze - thanks for the feedback (and the patience to switch browsers), that's a major problem in the template, I'll get on to it now. XXX  

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Blogger Regal said...

luv the pup - HHNT  

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Blogger Lelly said...

Lawks Rob NOT Daniel Day-Lewis!!! Daniel CRAIG...THE NEW BOND!!! GAWD's sake! Where have you been!!!!
And he IS very gratifyingly half-nekkid in the clips I've seen!  

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Blogger robmcj said...

Lelly - THANKS FOR CLEARING THAT UP. We don't have James Bond here yet. Is that a TV program?  

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Blogger LEE ANN said...

Now I am in Firefox...IE before!

Happy HNT!
~xo  

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Blogger SeaRabbit said...

Bad doggy!!! Mine is a 1 year and half shnauzer and he is still friendly with other dogs... I wish this will last...

HHNT!  

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Blogger barefoot_mistress said...

Boy, I know whatcha mean...I stopped taking my beast out in public years ago..one wrong look in the eye, and she'd be all over the other dog, kid, etc!
She's a stay at home kinda dog!
HHNT!  

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Blogger Boo said...

You sound like A Ceasar Milan fan. Always remember you are not a dog pack member, you are the dog pack LEADER. Great job with the pooch.  

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Blogger hotboy said...

What is all this nonsense at the bottom of this post? All we want to know is: Does it work? If it doesn't, fix it! So it works! What a boy, you are! Hope this helps! Hotboy  

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Blogger Lee Ann said...

That was really a scary encounter!
Glad it worked out ok for you.
Have a wonderful weekend!
~xo  

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Blogger Menzies Milngavie III said...

What can I say?

As I hope this picture shows, I the alsatian must have thought you were going to sledge him.

MM III  

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Blogger Suze said...

Hi Rob, in answer to your question, I was using IE7 the other day.

Hope your Saturday is a good one.  

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Blogger robmcj said...

MM - is there no limit to the cricket in your life? You might have got on well with Nobis, a late friend of mine.

boo and suze - ta for the info  

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Post a Comment

11 November 2006 at 05:19

falling sand, fallen art

If you're like me, and don't like computer games because they're all about shooting and racing, the Falling Sand Game is for you. It's beautifully addictive.

Or if short animations are your thing, you might like Fallen Art. It won several awards, and it's suitable for most kids.



Have a nice weekend.

Blogger keda said...

oh yeah thanks. we are now addicted to both. and my 4 year old twins think art made from dead soldiers is 'BRILLIANT!'.

i hold you responsible for any future convictions for psychotic behavior.

it was though actually bloody brilliant. thanks.  

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Blogger Lil Bit said...

Dunno about the games, but luv the titles.
'Falling sand & fallen art' sounds the title for a cool poem. ;)  

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Blogger hotboy said...

Adolf! Zeig! No wonder you don't get any of ra bliss! Buggering around with computery games! Dearie, dearie me! Doesn't help at all! Hotboy  

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Blogger hotboy said...

Adolf! Zeig! No wonder you don't get any of ra bliss! Buggering around with computery games! Dearie, dearie me! Doesn't help at all! Hotboy, p.s. This document contains no data  

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Blogger hotboy said...

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.  

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Blogger robmcj said...

keda - i was hoping the lest might enjoy it.

lil - you're clearly an intellectual. What are you doing hanging round this blog? ;-)

hotboy - "This document contains no data" - was that an upfront confession of vacuity? Dearie me, what next?  

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Blogger Lee Ann said...

Wow...blahblah blah blah blahblahblah....
Very bizarre, but strangely interesting!

Hope you are having a good weekend!
~xo  

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Blogger MyUtopia said...

I play suduko on-line and word worm.  

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Blogger robmcj said...

myute - I do sudoku on paper, that's hard enough for me.  

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Post a Comment

09 November 2006 at 05:13

HNT hunt develops a mynah hitch

Every year at this time I have to chase the last few penguins off the island. They need to swim south for the summer, as it's too hot for them here just now.

Usually they leave willingly, but one or two of them have developed a taste for the home brew, and require persuasion to head off for the stone cold sober waters of the Antarctic.



The penguins steal my beer, but there are worse pests than penguins. For years the islands have been infested with Indian Mynah birds. Originally they came from Malaysia I think, but here they have run amok in the absence of any natural predators.

There are now millions of mynahs, and they are regarded as vermin. They eat the food that the parrots depend on, so some native species are dying out. And they gang up to torment my dog, swooping on her with a deafening squawking when she goes in the garden.

Back in September, just before I went overseas to check my pension fund, I had a brainwave. I would cull the worst birds, the ones making the dog's life hell. So I sat quietly in the garden, called the dog out, and waited till they showed up. Using an adult-size catapult (technically illegal here) and M&Ms, I shot the basturns as they flew in. The theme from 633 Squadron ran through my head. And the dog got very excited. In her mind, I was at long last showing some promise as a top dog, leading the pack in a real wild food hunt.





Most of my shots missed of course, but I had a few lucky hits and the birds got the message. For once, the sky was silent and the dog could relax. But as we all know, everything balances up, and for every action there will be an opposite re-action. Eventually.

Meanwhile, I went away to Europe for a month.

Soon after I returned here, I went out to do some gardening.

Have you ever seen the Hitchcock film "The Birds"? It's a preposterous movie about a woman who is attacked by crows. An unlikely story and a boring film. But as I stood in the garden, mynahs flew in from all over the neighbourhood. Ignoring the dog, they took it in turns to dive-bomb me, nearly blowing my eardrums out with their racket. They had remembered me - the guy who shot at them a couple of months earlier. Clever birds.

They're turning the garden into a no-go area for me. I should have thought of that. I may have to escalate.



HNT_1

If you missed previous HNTs, you can access all the old half baked thursday posts here.



This is a freelance Taoist blog.
Every true story contains a wee lie.
And every lie contains a grain of truth.

Blogger keda said...

well judging by that pic your aim certainly wasn't up to much! no wonder they aren't scared!

shame too, as it would have been funny to know that death by chocolate actually worked. sorry i'm feeling slightly wicked today.. but i prefer dogs over meany birds anyday.

too much brew i reckon. both you and me.

oh and its my shoulders in my picture.. i'm bowing my head.  

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Blogger Regal said...

very nice photo - Happy HNT  

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Blogger hotboy said...

Adolf! Heil! At last! Some retribution! You'll have to capture one of their young and bring it up by hand. Then it will get Stockholm Syndrome and when it grows up, it will tell the other birds you are their friend now. Obviously, some grovelling and capitulation would do since these birds are surely way too smart for you! Hope this helps! Hotboy  

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Blogger ion said...

What a fantastic, preposterous story. Here in the Land of the Kiltie, it's magpies protecting nests in spring, and all year round the predatory seagulls that are to be watched. One swooped down and stole a poke of chips from my hands! I think the Cooncil is trying to control their numbers with contraceptive-laced grain, thank God.  

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Blogger lime said...

i'll send in my limelets with shotguns and rifles. you need real fire power.

HHNT  

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Blogger Phain said...

i love the idea of pelting birds with chocolate candies! *~*happy hnt*~*  

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Blogger Suze said...

Rob, did they bring back you M & M's? Or did they get you a box of Dairy Box. lol

Happy HNT sweetie ;)  

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Blogger lily said...

what a way to live, dive bombing birds and m&Ms as ammunition. lol. How funny.

HHNT!  

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Blogger Wenchy said...

Happy HNT to you and da penguins.  

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Blogger robmcj said...

hb - your idea for conquering the mynahs sounds too much like work. How much do you charge to put up a nest box for them, then smash it to the ground? I'll throw in a night with the old dear.

lime - er, thanks.

wenchy - couldn't get your blog to open this week.  

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Blogger LEE ANN said...

Hey! The birds are pretty, are they really pests?

Happy HNT sweetie!
~xo  

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Blogger robmcj said...

lee ann - yes, though every true story contains a wee lie.  

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Blogger Schadeboy said...

You need to photoshop your aim a little more to the left.

Cool story, though. Well written, too. Thanks for that!

Happy HNT.  

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Blogger robmcj said...

Thank you to all the people who pointed out that my aim is photoshopped too far to the right. I did that on purpose, as the catapult is the same colour as the bird, and is hard to see if they are exactly superimposed.  

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Blogger Lelly said...

What an apalling (appaling?) waste of M&M's surely you could have used the coffee/strawberry/orange creams left over from that box of Dairy Milk? And how kind of you to explain what 'Running Amok' means...I always thought it referred to a weave fault in the cloth of a lightweight bed strung between two trees (not laboured at all, that 'joke'eh!)

Have ye missed me??  

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Blogger Menzies Milngavie III said...

I say,

The solution is easy. Spread some lion dung around the vicinity. Scares off anything. Worked a treat here when we were infested with lilac crested rollers a few years back.

Shall I see if they have some dung on offer at Kandodo?

MM III  

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Blogger robmcj said...

Lelly - Och aye, a course I mussed ye, if no yur jokes.

Glad you're back, now I can publish my 3 more weird things (appalling version). PS There's no charge for the spelling lesson.

MM - I think hotboy has an excess at the allotment.  

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Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hey,nice blog!!! I found a place where you can make an extra $800 or more a month. I do it part time and make a lot more than that. It is definitely worth a visit! You can do it in your spare time and make good cash. Make Extra Cash  

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Post a Comment

06 November 2006 at 09:37

unheard of beauty

One of my favourite films is American Beauty. Like my friend hotboy, I share Lester's work motivation. I have a job where the management is so dysfunctional that they have no idea what I do or how I do it. Basically I can do whatever I want (as long as I keep my students happy). And I work only 2 days a week, but never 2 consecutive days so as not to risk burnout. And I take about 9 weeks holiday a year. Can you outslack that? I think not.

Mind you, I can't afford a car or any vices. I have to manufacture all my own alcohol, which is isn't a lot and anyway the job leaves me plenty of time for brewing - funny how everything balances out.

But there's bad news now - my retirement plan, which was to be funded by an inheritance from my aunt, is now in tatters. When she read out her will to the family, she explained that she has blown most of her dough in the last few years. So in the future I'm going to have to start earning furiously, and my 2-day working week may soon be a thing of the past. But on the plus side, the shock of full-time work might kill me.

Blogger keda said...

bummer! you and me both babe. ;)  

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Blogger keda said...

ps do you have a recipe for potato vodka??  

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Blogger hotboy said...

Adolf! Heil! Your auntie is lying! Your mum must have told her about the hut and the creekit bat assasin! Working full time would surely kill you at your advanced state of decrepitude. You don't want to make to retirement age anyway. Those old crumbly flatheids just get more and more miserable! Start meditating immediately. It's your only chance! This would help! Hotboy  

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Blogger robmcj said...

vodkeda - you need fragile glass equipment and tubes, maybe not the best combination with the spudlets?

hotboy - how would it help? I understand how the distraction could be useful, but I get that while reading books (perhaps even yours). Is there any proven physical benefit from sitting around gasping and eye-rolling?  

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Blogger Lee Ann said...

Sorry about the will!

Tomorrow, mini movie with me...come see!  

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Blogger hotboy said...

Adolf! Zeig! Flatheids just don't get ra bliss! Only the truly flatheided could compare reading a book with ra bliss!! Dearie, dearie me! That doesn' t help at all! Hotboy  

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Blogger hotboy said...

Adolf! Heil! There will be no physical benefit to you because you're probably too far gone in decreptitude already. So it's no help at all! Hotboy  

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Blogger Lil Bit said...

Dang! - I'd say you've had *the* job.

"American Beauty"... yep, another great movie. =)  

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Blogger Polyman3 said...

Is there such a thing as a functional family??  

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Blogger robmcj said...

lee ann - see you there

poly - good point  

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Blogger LEE ANN said...

Happy HNT!
~xo  

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02 November 2006 at 21:50

HNT medals

My grandfather was born on the right side of the tracks, but fought on the wrong side in World War 1. I recently inherited his service medals, which I'm wearing in this photo, pinned to my birthday suit.



When my mother was a schoolgirl in Germany during World War 2, schoolkids were taught a macabre version of "show and tell". The teacher encouraged them to rat on their parents, and my mother stood up and proudly told the class that her father had been listening to BBC on the radio.

That night, my grandfather was taken away for interrogation. Things were looking bad, especially as he was, how can I put it, not racially pure. He was finally released when he shamed his captors by showing them his medals from the previous war.

It just goes to show, you should never throw anything away. I'm keeping the medals in case these islands are ever invaded by fascists.

The story came sort of full circle during my own childhood, years later in Scotland. My mother went out to the BBC studios one evening, while the rest of our family gathered round the radio set, to listen to my mother being interviewed on the BBC, about her experiences as a German living in Scotland.





This is a freelance Taoist blog.
Every true story contains a wee lie.
And every lie contains a grain of truth.


HNT_1

If you missed previous HNTs, you can access all the old half baked thursday posts here.

Anonymous Felicity said...

my eyebrows are way up, now. A tale both interesting and frightening.
HHNT, and ouch, if they're pinned to your flesh!  

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Blogger Polt said...

Cool, medals. I love historical stuff like that.

Frightening story, though....

HAPPY HNT nonetheless!  

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Blogger hotboy said...

Adolf! Heil! Your grandaddy must have given your maw a good spanking for grassing. Learned her lesson, eh? She never grassed on me for keeping her in the hut! That was a help! Hotboy p.s. What are names of the medals?  

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Blogger Suze said...

Great post and very thought provoking. Btw, I do hope that you stuck those to you with tape.

Happy HNT sweetie ;)  

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Blogger LEE ANN said...

Wonderful medals sweetie!
Happy HNT!
~xo  

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Blogger Wenchy said...

Great writing and pic.

Happy HNT  

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Blogger Menzies Milngavie III said...

I say!

Was it not painful when you pinned those medals to the top of your head?

MM III  

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Blogger SeaRabbit said...

Very interesting story... and so scarry at the same time in our days where kids are raised by strangers with all kind of backgrounds and issues... No, it is not war around us... but ideologies are flying from all around us... and some aren't exactly what I would like my kids to be close by...
I only wish this would teach a lesson that should be remembered... but how long does it takes to remember and act differently...
You are making me thinking very hard... ;-)
Happy HNT!  

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Blogger Sexy Duet said...

What a great post, very interesting. Happy HNT!!!

Ms SD  

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Blogger robmcj said...

Hotboy - you were asking about the names of those medals - very long words you wouldn't want to try saying, even with your teeth in. You could try practicing on something a bit easier, like "Hefeweissbier"  

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Blogger keda said...

very cool scary story and hmmm.... more flesh than we've seen for a while beneath those medals :)

happy late hnt babe.  

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Blogger Polyman3 said...

I have my dads medals from that war. It was a scary time then as it is now.  

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Blogger Menzies Milngavie III said...

I say!

Did the acupuncture work?

MM III  

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Blogger Asif Iqbal said...

Hi there

I found my way here whle Googling Lachie Robertson who was on of my teachers and House master at The Glasgow Academy back in the 70s and early 80s

Hope everything goes right with you  

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Blogger robmcj said...

mm - I have given up beer, so maybe the acupuncture did help. I'm on wine now.

asif - nice to know Lachie Robertson was on still on the go as recently as the early 80s. Hope your memories are good ones.  

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Blogger Lil Bit said...

Oh, COOL!! - ... and that is now gonna be your mask for my lil party! ;)

ok, since the names are too hard to pronounce, can ya at least tell us what each medal was for or what they signify? =)

happy belated HNT!  

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Blogger robmcj said...

lil - Thanks for visiting the war memorial post. No idea what the medals are called, but I suspect they're for long service.  

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