29 January 2006 at 05:18
God doesn't bother me, and I don't bother Him. He's happy for me to be a freelance Taoist.
Taoism's just the best thing. For example it teaches that nothing in life is black and white. Or I should say,
everything is black
and white.
There is nothing that is 100% good. Or 100% bad. Everything contains some good and some bad. Mother Theresa wasn't all saint, she used to like killing flies. Adolf Hitler was a monster, but he was kind to dogs and even kids.
A contemporary example: many people convince themselves that George Bush is satan. Others will argue that he's the saviour of Western civilisation. Bring together two people with these two opposing views, and they'll argue till doomsday about which view is correct.
To a Taoist, such argument is a waste of time: because everything is partly good and partly bad, Bush must be part satan
and part saviour of Western civilisation.
Actually, I wish I hadn't chosen Bush as an example, since no-one, except perhaps his wife, has actually found his redeeming qualities. But logically they must exist!
A less confusing example: about 20 years ago, a clairvoyant said to me "you love your father, don't you?" My immediate answer was: "no, I hate him."
I do hate him. But I have gradually come to accept that I hate him,
and I love him.
He was a vain self-centred bully,
and he taught me advanced driving skills that have probably saved my life.
He bashed and humiliated me in public, yet when I broke my brand-new Gene Autry rifle by using it as a cricket bat, he was my hero when he took it back to the shop and demanded a replacement.
You see? Taoists don't waste their time figuring out whether something is bad
or good.
One more example. I prefer not to eat tomatoes, because they're from the deadly nightshade family of plants, and are very mildly toxic. But if I tell people this, they tend to respond with "but tomatoes are great, they're full of vitamin C!" It doesn't occur to them that something can be good for you
and bad for you. All-or-nothing thinking - it always leads to arguments.
PS when I was googling for "yin yang photo", one of the images that came up was
this. Taoism was never like that in my day. What is spirituality coming to?
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27 January 2006 at 08:49
This HNT is a little late because yesterday was the national holiday here, UnHeard Of Day, and to celebrate we held a sampling of the latest three brews, numbers eigHt Nine and Ten.
For the beer buffs, they were, from left to right: a German Lager (dangerously easy to drink), an Australian Bitter (a bit too bitter, but I'll get used to it), and a Canadian Blonde (we didn't even get as far as tasting that one).
The photo was taken just after opening the first bottle. You have my word on it, I was half-naked. As the sampling continued, some very rude pictures were taken, but I have been asked not to post them. For now. Heh heh!
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24 January 2006 at 05:10
It's nearly Chinese New Year. On the bus from work yesterday, I overheard a conversation about which animal is the next one. One person thought the pig, another said the donkey. Do you know the correct answer?
It's nearly the end of January, and I haven't made a New Year's Resolution. Last year was my year of the flab. My 2005 new year's resolution was to beef up to my fighting weight through a programme of rigorous beer drinking. I had some success, and by December I managed to achieve the beginnings of a pair of love-handles. It wasn't quite the Schwarzenegger form I had been hoping for, but it was something.
What could be my resolution for 2006? I read an article that scientifically re-examined various old wives' tales: wait an hour after meals before swimming; garlic cures a cold. That kind of thing.
They talked about the one my parents told me - masturbation makes you blind. In fact:
"... masturbation is a healthy activity, says Dr Terri Foran, sexual health physician and lecturer. Masturbation is by no means dangerous, she says, adding that she especially recommends it for single people of all ages who are outside a relationship, or couples who are aged or have disabilities, or as part of any couple's normal sexual repertoire."
Wow! That just about covers every group in society.
It seems I haven't been masturbating enough up to now. So 2006 is going to be the year of the wank. But how will I measure my progress during the year?
I'm posting the next bit just in case it might help someone with a similar problem. One reason I haven't had much time for blogging recently is that I bought a digital TV tuner for my PC. I've spent ages trying to get the bloody thing to work. I've tried everything, including getting up on the roof and installing an antenna.
Last night, I tried one more tweak. Just in case the USB port was slowing things up, I plugged the thing into each of the other USB ports in turn. At the seventh attempt - bingo! Now I can watch TV on the PC. Not that I actually want to do that, I just want it to play with. Boys and their toys.
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23 January 2006 at 11:57
Well, I finally left Sydney at the weekend. Back here on the islands after the summer holidays, there's a national holiday (UnHeard Of Day) right in the middle of my first week back at work. What a great place to live!
I think I may have overstayed my welcome at Spud's Mum's place. But I left her with a parting gift - I set up a microbrewery at the back of her dunny, and showed her how to make full-strength Blues Healer. She's real pleased. Now, whenever Spud visits her he'll have no excuse for spending all his time at the pub.
This is a picture of UnHeard Falls, where I get the water for my own brew. The penguins do stuff in it, but it sems to improve the taste.
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21 January 2006 at 07:36
(1) I found that my
HNT 11 photo has spawned a sub-genre at
Jaxe's place. Imitation is flattery. (Breaking news - sadly, the HNT 11 photo of the naked guy crouching under a water tap has been taken offline - the poor guy must have decided he didn't like all the hits he was getting).
(2) And I was chuffed to find that my
3 x 3 New Year Tag has developed a life of its own. I stumbled across it
here. Memes have a life of their own, of course, you just need to let them go.
Nice to know that my life has not been in vain.
And I bottled another 70 bottles of Pam Canadian Blonde this morning. Several bottles cracked as I was sealing the caps on them, and I had to rescue the beer by decanting through a tea-strainer. Phew! Who says there's no drama in the suburbs?
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19 January 2006 at 19:10
The half-nekkid part is the top lip. This was taken the day I finally gave up trying to grow a moustache, and shaved it off in stages.
It has been suggested that I have a lot in common with a major historical figure but I can't see it myself.
If you missed previous HNTs, you can access all the old half naked posts
here.
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18 January 2006 at 10:16
What a week! I started off a brew last Friday, and by Monday it was all ready for bottling. That's the upside of the recent weather: the yeast loves the heat, within reason. Actually, there's no real downside to the weather, now that I come to think of it. That can't possibly be right - everything has to balance up, I'm a Taoist after all.
So anyway, after I bottled the whole brew on Monday, I thought - I've got all the equipment out anyway, why not just start another barrel brewing right away? So that's what I did, and by this Saturday I should be filling another 70 bottles with Canadian Blonde, a beer I haven't tried before. This will swell my stash to about 250 bottles, enough to see me through till the next holidays, even after wastage by penguins.
Normally I drink one bottle of beer a day, in the late afternoon. Never enough to get feel any effect. It's just part of my weight-gain program. People say it can't be good for you to drink every day. I won't say I've never suffered
any ill-effects, but I when I recently took three whole days off drinking, I suffered (if that's the word) reverse brewer's droop.
I can't think of a new name for the latest brew, so I may just call it "No. 10". Or "# 10" in America. I am in negotiation with
hotboy over a possible licensing deal for Southern Hemisphere rights to the Wifebeater brand name. If we reach an agreement, I'll use the name for a wheat beer.
I've just thought of a downside to this sunny weather. My esteemed Northern Hemisphere readers get pissed off hearing about it while they're freezing up there. You see? Everything
does balance up after all.
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17 January 2006 at 05:16
This is the last week of my holidays. Next week I go back to work.
Most people would think: "this is my last chance to do all those things I don't get time to do when I'm working." They'd be running around visiting exhibitions and movies, seeing friends, painting the bathroom.
I think: "this is my last chance to spend a whole week doing absolutely nothing." I believe I may even have discovered a whole new paradigm of sleep - the more you sleep in the day, the longer you sleep at night.
I first learnt the American term "goofing off" when I spent a fantastic summer in Michigan with my dear aunts and uncles. This is me goofing off at age 11 with my Aunt Ina in Detroit.
Incidentally, my uncle's camera captured my overdeveloped right arm muscle, as you can see. I suppose an 11-year-old boy would have been exercising his right hand quite a lot. Fortunately, the other arm compensated by becoming withered and puny. Everything balances up.
Goofing off picture courtesy of Picasa ~
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10 January 2006 at 08:48
This week I'm on my summer holiday in Sydney and I can't work up the energy to blog properly. Also, I'm naked most of the time and I can't be bothered putting half my clothes back on. So I'm raiding the photo vaults.
As I keep telling my buddhist fundamentalist friends, there's really no need to meditate: the easy path to bliss lies via alternating hot and cold showers.
Okay, you may scream for the first minute or two (quite therapeutic in itself), but then your body loses track of the difference between hot and cold, and the bliss sets in, lasting for hours afterwards. Apparently it works because the extremes of temperature balance each other out, and you achieve equilibrium in the middle.
You should try it. It's so simple! There's no need for all that time-consuming
bliss-chasing, sitting still and breathing, or forcing your body into yoga poses.
Now here's a guy who's got the right idea. He was a hard-line buddhist fundamentalist until I suggested weaning himself off bliss-chasing gradually, by combining yoga, meditation and cold showers.
Eventually he's hoping to be able to manage on showers alone, and kick the other stuff. I hope he succeeds.
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06 January 2006 at 20:38
I'm going to answer the previous post's comments here.
lee ann and
hot boy - yes, sorry about the lack of an HNT. Maybe next week. I'm on my summer holiday and have wound down too much to blog. Also, I'm naked most of the time and it's such a chore to put some clothes back on. I'll head over to your places after this to see what's happening.
ray ray - your 15 gallons of cocoa porter, your best brew ever, was what I was aiming at with my chocolate porter. The result is strong and sweet and dark, but I don't like it, perhaps it's not suitable for summer drinking. I would email you some if I could.
It's time to open the first bottle of the bread-yeast batch of german-style lager. I ran out of Brewer's Yeast and had to improvise using the missus' baking yeast. The glass and the stubby-holder have been in the freezer all day. Back in a jiffy. Ah, the verdict - deliciously cold, not too gassy, quite dark for a lager. It tastes slightly yeasty, but in a good way. Strength about 2.5%, so you can drink more without getting guttered. I think I'll pour another one. This is my ninth brew. What shall I call this one? I'm tagging
everyone in the world to come up with a name.
I'll head over to your place next ray ray, to pick up the tag.
doviko - good on ya pal.
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02 January 2006 at 15:40
I was tagged by
myself for New Year's Eve. Ray Ray has pointed out, quite rightly, that I was supposed to do the tag myself before I tagged other people.
- Three 2005 achievements you're proud of, no matter how small.
- I brewed some of the best beer I have ever tasted. And some of the worst. Everything balances out. The best brew was Blues Healer. The worst one was the barrelful that got heatstroke and had to be put out of its misery down the drain.
- Resuming contact with hotboy, a friend from way back in the last century, and re-encountering his humour, insight and a degree of insanity that rates alongside my own.
- Teaching myself to swim the crawl. Well the front part anyway. I still do the back half of the breaststroke.
- Resuming contact with Mary Hopkin, a former partner. We're now writing to each other. I am working my way up to an apology for treating her unfairly all those years ago.
- After many years of abstinence from everything, this year I achieved excellence in two addictions. Firstly to green tea, which has added much power to my exercise programme. In 2006 I may even graduate to the hard stuff (strong black tea with milk). And as part of my weight-gain programme, I implemented a punishing regime of daily beer drinking. So far it seems to be paying off. Now instead of being an anorexic stringbean, I just look like a product of too much 1970s Scottish living (fags and whisky). My goal in 2006 is to become a fat slob and blend in with everyone else.
- I learned how to break the tag rules.
- Three 2005 events that delighted you, no matter how small.
- On several occasions in 2005 I rediscovered how lucky I am to have shackled myself to Mrs. McJay. The latest was when we arrived at this beach shack which has a piano, and she sat down and played some Beethoven sonatas. I have asked for the shackling to be extended for another year at least.
- I discovered that, although I suffer from OCD from my mother's side of the family, it's balanced out by the RDD I inherited from my father. So on average I'm normal.
- I made the effort to go to Sydney and see the marvellous jazz pianist Barney McAll and his band. They were playing just one night, I went on my own, and I was the last person through the door before it was full up. What a night! The most fun I have ever had sober with my clothes on.
- Through blogging I came across all sorts of interesting people, and I learned how to leave tactful or friendly or positive or mischievous or helpful comments (though sometimes I still get it wrong due to my blundering Teutonic genes)
- Three 2005 events that appalled you. Well, thinking of things that appalled me is difficult for me, probably because I have too much bliss in my life to care, or maybe it's just that after some of the things I've seen in a past life, nothing else comes close. Or maybe it just means I'm a heartless basturn. But I'll try anyway:
- Observing the effects of retention deficit disorder unrestrained by OCD.
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